Do you know who you are? Do you know what you like or don’t like?
Maybe you’re a bit like me. At face value, you can answer these questions as ‘yes’. Of course I know who I am, of course I know what I like and what I don’t like. After feeling somewhat defensive when I answered, I thought: oh boy – these questions struck a chord with me. Let me sit with this idea of creating an intimate relationship with myself and see where it takes me.
A few weeks passed. I pondered these questions each day and one thing that started to happen was my slow realization that I had zero idea who I truly was. I felt like I was a different person based on the situation, who I was surrounded by, what the weather was like, etc. You name it, I could see that I could bend and fold as needed. At times, this ability to flex was helpful; yet it made it tough for me to truly understand ‘who’ I was.
I decided to look for patterns and trends. Even though I could bend and flex, where did I come back to? When did I feel the most grounded? When was I the happiest and when was I tougher on myself? It took awhile and a lot of deep inward thinking, but I was able to solidly determine who I was.
Onto the second part – what did I like and what didn’t I like?
I made lists. Lots of lists. Things that I was attracted to, things that I was inspired by. Situations, items and people that always left me feeling a little unwavering and a little less confident. I found that things that I liked changed overtime – such as heading out do dinners when I was younger were much more enjoyable than I find them nowadays. Today, I would rather stay in and cook.
However, things that I didn’t like seem to remain the same overtime. When I was younger, I did not like loud sounds. Nowadays, I still dislike loud sounds; listening to my music or a movie on low. I was never a fan of being the center of attention and to this day, I truly dislike drawing attention to myself.
As I was exploring more about myself, I tried new things almost like I was going on a date with myself. What did I find exciting? Did I find a new liking towards seafood or was there a piece of clothing that I have never bought before that I now found that I like (such as a romper)? The art of exploration went hand in hand as I tried to reground myself in what I liked, what I didn’t like, ultimately answering the question of who I was.
From my perspective, there’s not a fast solution to knowing exactly who you are and that’s because we’re always evolving. What’s important is to put as much time, effort and energy into knowing your own self as you would into knowing your best friend. I highly encourage you to treat yourself with a high level of curiosity and care and periodically check back in with yourself as you build upon and expand your relationship.
Think about it,
MJ
Wellness from the Wild 